Adeline deeply scowls. Dropping her pen, she rubs her face with her hands. Folding her arms across the counter-top, she rests her face in the crook of her elbow.

“Ah, dear! What’s going on?” Mom bustles in, laying a glass of dirty water and paint brushes in the sink. Turning to her, she rubs her daughter’s back. Looking at the piles of papers covered with pencils and highlighters, she smiles.

A soft cry escapes Adeline’s throat. “There’s just so much to do. It never ends. Even when I get caught up, there’s still more to do.” A tear traces down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail as it slides to her jawline. Mom touches a finger tip to the trail, leaning into lay a gentle kiss on her daughters cheek.

“Is there anything time sensitive that has to get in, today?” Squeezing Adeline’s arms, she turns on the tea kettle and starts to wash the brushes.

A long sigh. “Um. Something due tomorrow, that has some left on it.” Glancing at the clock, it says 6 pm. “So I’m not in panic mode.” Welcoming the reminder in, her shoulders drop a bit and she takes a deep breath, closing her eyes.

The sound of running water, splashing on the brushes is bright. Reaching for it, Adeline welcomes the sound into her body. “Adeline, you’re doing great. And it is a lot. There is always more to do. But at the end of the day, what matters is that you let the feelings in and appreciate the work you’ve done.” Smiling, she glances at Adeline.

Adeline rubs her face, squeezing her eyes shut. “Yeah, I try to thank myself, like you’ve taught me. But how do you decide how much is enough in a given day. Then when you’ve reached that, how do you stop?” One eye peeks open.

Nodding, Mom puts a brush on the rack to dry. “Well, I first assess how I am feeling. How stiff I am, how much energy I have, what is sparking my curiosity today. Then I assess what is left that has to happen, but also what my heart and body wants. Then I create a plan to balance between internal and external needs. I’ve also learned I need to find my body, then create before I can be productive, or I get depressed and resent the productivity.” Adding another brush to the track, she glances to Adeline, her eyes soft.

Adeline’s fingers curl around her other arm, feeling the soft wool fabric. “I can see the wisdom in that. I hate it when I get to night and I’m too tired to create, because all of me went into my school work.” Closing her eyes, she lets her head become heavier in her arms.

Smiling, Mom squeezes her shoulder briefly. Pouring calming herbs into the large teapot, “Exactly. You’re a beautiful being, and so much more than the productivity. What we do for school and work, we do to create a life that allows us to blossom and love ourselves. I’ve found, having the life I want, and feeling that in my bones, means being productive is less of a drag. Because I already have what I want.” Winking, she lays the tea pot in front of Adeline with two large earthen mugs.

Sighing, Adeline sits up, pulling her favourite mug to her and wraps her fingers around the familiar curves. “The life I want…” The words trail off, as she bites her lip. “I haven’t asked myself that in months, I’ve been buried under this.” Scowling to the papers, she starts to pull them into neat stacks.

“That my, my dear, is the trap. Thinking that the ‘to do list’ is more important than being who you are. Sure, we gotta make sure things happen, food and money are made. But if we do that at the expense of connecting with ourselves and our loved ones, what’s the point?” Picking up the teapot, she pours for both of them. Sitting down on the stool next to Camille, she wraps an arm around her.

Leaning into her Mom, Adeline laughs dully. “I mean, is that being human, or being a robot? I’ve felt so dead the last few weeks. I don’t even know if I could create right now, honestly.” Nestling into her Mom’s embrace, she breathes the comforting scent of herbs and paint.

Her Mom rubs her back, large circles. “And you know what? You don’t have to. You don’t have to be productive, right now, either. You can just rest.”